Racial Discrimination

I look at the world and think, “Am I in the minority?” The way people are tearing each other up over the concept of race is despicable. The way I see it race is a social construct. It might as well be defined by the color of your eyes or the length of your legs or the size of your nose. The amount of pigment under your skin is just easy and lacks creativity. We are all the same. All are equal black and white, male and female, slave and free. Yes I included slave, it’s an illustration of how abhorrently wrong slavery is.

Our current race problem we have isn’t due to the inherent racism in our world but rather the need of power, money, and influence of people who desire to mold the world according to their vision.  As crazy as it sounds the easiest way to get power, money, and influence over the world is to divide it before a unifying hand reaches in to bring it altogether again as a new creation.

We are in that divide and conquer phase now. We are busy ripping each other apart; screaming things like black lives matter or all lives matter. Shooting each other because we are angry. Shouting to defund the police! Accusing people of grave injustices base on nothing other than a person’s pigmentation, or religion, or political affiliation, or position on global climate change, or even whether the Covid-19 Disease is real.

We are in the most technologically advanced age in recorded human history and yet we are the dumbest group to come out of evolution. Knowledge isn’t wisdom. Sure we know a lot but we have no real clue about anything.

We as a race need to stand back and look at the world and see that we are better than we were before and we can still be better. Remember that people matter. We each bring a unique and beautiful light into this world and we have no right to snuff that light out wether it’s through killing or suppression of another’s inherent rights to life and freedom. We are better. We are people. We are one race. Let’s look for those things that build us up. Yes look at the past and condemn the atrocities then move that focus forward slowly and notice the remarkable changes we have seen then continue moving the light to illuminate the path ahead. There we can see who we can be.

Honoring Our Ancestors Through Temple Work

This is the talk I gave in church. The opening is different from the what I actually said and I may have added or subtracted from the content a little but the overall message remained the same. 

I would like to congratulate Brother Shepard. When he call to ask me to speak today he put an end to my 20 year streak of not speaking in sacrament. I think the last time I spoke I read an entire Dr. Seuss book, Because a Little Bug Went Achoo! When he told me I needed to speak for 15 minutes, I blurted out that I had never spoken for that long in my life! Not sure how many words would account for 15 minutes I search the gospel of google. Did you know that the average person speaks around 275 words per minute? So doing the math I need to use at least 4,000 words. Hopefully I get close. 

A little while ago, I followed my pedigree chart through a maze of ancestors. I found many amazing things along the journey. I ran into several dead ends. Places that I don't have the foggiest idea how to continue the line. I traced one line back to Abraham. Another to an odd pairing, a son of Seth and a daughter of Cain. Does that make me a child of Cain? That sounds like a really bad horror movie, The Children of Cain. 

Needless to say, I was very excited! I ran around the house proclaiming what I found. Probably a lot like Lehi after he discovered his ancestry through the brass plates. 

After returning home from his service in WW2, My grandpa, was called in to see his bishop. The bishop asked him to serve a mission. My grandpa, probably not too excited about the idea, took some time to think about it and finally agreed. He was called to serve a 2 1/2 year mission to Argentina. After arriving in Brazil there was an issue with his Visa requiring him to wait 6 months until it was cleared up. Back in those days your mission didn't start until you got to the country where you were going to serve. He ended up serving for 3 years. He said the experience taught to always answer the Lord quickly. 

Later in life, after he had married and had 5 kids, he took a library on wheels, (A large bus used as a mobile library)  and turned it into the first motor home. It was green and rather large so they named it the Jolly Green Giant. They drove east to follow the mormon trail. In Michigan, a car manufacturer asked for a tour. He was eager learn how a family of 7 could live comfortably in it. The DMV and tollways didn't know how to classify it. They finally came up with calling it a housecar so they got to drive at car rates.

My great grandpa Hull, had a stroke and was living on machines. His daughters were told by doctors that he would be a vegetable and they should unplug the machine. They prayed about it. Then following the Spirit they refused. He recovered and went on to serve three missions with his wife. Later, he had heart problems and was told to take it easy. He went right back to working hard and fully recovered.

My Grandma owned her own business, manufacturing drapes. She also had this amazing talent with porcelain. She made dolls and little figures. She was asked by the department store Tiffany's to make and sell one of her porcelain creations. She turned them down because she didn't think she would have the time to keep up with orders.

After the excitement I experienced, I wanted my wife to find it too. So I looked up her chart and found a heart breaking sight. She was as far back her line went. While yes I'm pretty sure my wife was created just me, I happen to know she has an amazing family. 

A mother who wanted to desperately to learn to play the accordion as a little girl that her loving parents helped make that dream come true. They purchased an accordion. The same one she plays today for her family and an occasional church service. 

A grandpa who grew up on a farm and became a house painter. He was a hard worker. He loved to make his kids laugh! That funny sense of humor was passed on to Tammy's dad. 

Her grandma was one of 16 kids! Can you even imagine that?! Where would you go for alone time? She became a cook at a retirement home. At just 16 she became a mother for the first time. She had 5 kids; 4 girls and 1 boy. When one of her daughters died a part of her died too. Leaving a hole in her heart for the rest of her life. 

Another of Tammy's grandpas, sometimes around his birthday, would want to have a what he called a shindig (party). He didn't want any presents. He just wanted to spend time with family and friends. He would entertain them by playing his guitar and sing country songs. 

One Sunday in December, Tammy's Grandma packed up her son's car for a picnic. The family piled in and drove down the highway looking for a good place to setup. She took out the gas stove and made lunch. People passing by in their cars probably thought they were crazy. Just imagine this everyone was dressed in coats, gloves and winter hats sitting at the picnic table. What a sight it must've been!

These people are family. Each of them wanted the best for their loved ones. They looked forward to the rising generation and welcomed us. On the other side, they must be rejoicing with us when we have that really exciting news! Their hearts surely must ache for us as when we get to the end of our rope and we feel broken and just don't know what else to do. When we struggle I am sure they are praying for us and perhaps offer whatever assistance they can.

Elder Joseph B Wirthlin taught that:

We...have a great debt to our ancestors who have preceded us and who wait beyond the veil for those ordinances that will allow them to continue their eternal progression. This is a debt we can repay for them in our temples.

Our Heavenly Fathers plan needs us to remember and honor our ancestors. I think that is why Malachi 4:5-6 is quoted so much in our scriptures. Our Savior repeated it to the Nephites. The angel Moroni recited it to Joseph Smith not just once, but 3 times! Again to us in the Doctrine and Covenants.

Elder David A Bender taught :

The Spirit of Elijah affects people inside and outside of the Church. However, as members of Christ's restored Church, we have the covenant responsibility to search out our ancestors and provide for them the saving ordinances of the gospel.

Think of the Spirt of Elijah as a seed, planted in the hearts of man. Continually fighting and pushing us to keep our covenant to our ancestors.

We honor our forebears when we "turn our hearts" towards them and help them get those ordinances and make those sacred covenants with the Lord. 

Sister Carole M. Stephens reminds us that:

These priesthood ordinances and covenants provide access to the fulness of the blessings promised to us by God, which are made possible by the Savior's Atonement. They arm sons and daughters of God with power, God's power, and provide us with the opportunity to receive eternal life—to return to God's presence and live with Him in His eternal family.

Concerning what this power is Elder M. Russel Ballard said:

When men and women go to the temple, they are both endowed with the same power which by definition is priesthood power…the endowment is literally a gift of power.

When we keep our covenants we made in the temple we are endowed (a conditional gift) with this power and the ability to enter the celestial kingdom. Can we deny that blessing of our dead?

Elder Robert D Hales taught:

The opportunity to enter the temple and to take upon ourselves the sacred covenants therein is one of the greatest blessings available to us in mortality. Then, after we take upon us those covenants, our obedience in living them daily stands as a demonstration of our faith, love, devotion, and spiritual commitment to honor our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Our obedience also prepares us to live with Them in the eternities. The temple's saving ordinances are essential to—and even the central focus of—the eternal plan of happiness. 

The primary purpose of the temple is to provide the ordinances necessary for our exaltation in the celestial kingdom. Temple ordinances guide us to our Savior and give us the blessings that come to us through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Through the blessings of the temple, families can be united together for eternity. We can help our ancestors receive this same blessing by standing in for them in the temple. Linking our generations together for eternity.

First, if they need to be baptized, we can help. 

Second, if they have not been endowed with "power", we can help.

Third, if they haven't been sealed to their family, we can help.

Elder Theodore M. Burton was a member of the 70 back in the 70's. One of his roles in the church was growing the family history department of the church. He said: 

The promise was made [to our ancestors] that, even if they were born at a time and place where they could not hear the gospel preached in life, God would provide saviors for them from among their descendants so they could eventually receive all the blessings promised them. We are those saviors.

The prophet Joseph Smith wrote a letter to the saints concerning baptism for the dead in Doctrine and Covenants section 128 

15 And now, my dearly beloved brethren and sisters, let me assure you that these are principles in relation to the dead and the living that cannot be lightly passed over, as pertaining to our salvation. For their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation, as Paul says concerning the fathers—that they without us cannot be made perfect—neither can we without our dead be made perfect.

We learn an important principle. our ancestors need us and we need them. My abruptly ending family lines need me and I need them. Tammy's ancestors need her and she needs them. 

Our ancestors upon accepting our vicarious effort on their behalf shout with "glad tidings of great joy."

President Wilford Woodruff had this to say: 

There is hardly any principle the Lord has revealed that I have rejoiced more in than in the redemption of our dead; that we will have our fathers, our mothers, our wives and our children with us in the family organization, in the morning of the first resurrection and in the Celestial Kingdom. These are grand principles. They are worth every sacrifice."

Elder Kent F Richards shared this experience:

…my wife and I entered the baptismal font to participate in baptisms for some of our own ancestors. As I raised my arm to begin the ordinance, I was nearly overcome by the power of the Spirit. I realized again that the real power of the temple is in the ordinances…

Our responsibility is to "receive" that which our Father offers.…everything we do in the Church—every meeting, activity, lesson, and service—is to prepare each of us to come to the temple and kneel at the altar to receive all the Father's promised blessings for eternity.

We honor our ancestors when we remember them and help them obtain these blessings.

Recorded in the 138 section of the Doctrine and Covenants is a vision Joseph F. Smith received concerning the redemption of the dead. Verse 58 reads:

The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God.

If they were unable, for whatever reason, to participate in those ordinances and make those covenants, what hope do they have of obtaining a celestial glory? We may do the work, but they must accept it and be obedient to the covenant.

Elder Quinten L Cook taught us:

The essential doctrine of uniting families came forth line upon line and precept upon precept. Vicarious ordinances are at the heart of welding together eternal families, connecting roots to branches.

The doctrine of the family in relation to family history and temple work is clear…Our doctrinal obligation is to our own ancestors. This is because the celestial organization of heaven is based on families.

I will leave you with these words from Howard W Hunter:

…there are some members who engage in temple work but fail to do family history research on their own family lines. Although they perform a divine service in assisting others, they lose a blessing by not seeking their own kindred dead as divinely directed by latter-day prophets. …those who engage in family history research and then perform the temple ordinance work for those whose names they have found will know the additional joy of receiving both halves of the blessing.

I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Literal or Figurative…

I listen to a lot of podcasts. A variety of subjects from straight up history to current events. They range from 5 minutes to nearly 2 hours in length. And I listen to each and every one on 2X speed. 

I was listening to one such podcast, Mormon Matters, when I heard a concept for the very first time. Did you know there are members of the church that don't believe The Book of Mormon is a literal history of the Nephites and Lamanites? I mean, I guess it makes sense there would be some. They believe the book is inspired scripture and can benefit the reader and improving their lives, but it didn't actually happen. It's all figurative. This view was tied with another new idea for me; God, in his mercy, speaks to everyone differently. That each dispensation of knowledge came to the inhabitants of the earth in whatever language and customs were most prevalent to the receiver, thus giving all religions equality in their roots. (Not saying I disagree with this premise). However, some of the participants, shared the belief that any of the other churches would be fine. It doesn't matter which religion you ascribe to because in the end if you are faithful to His voice you will be saved, because it's all figurative. Allowing man to choose whichever church best fits his circumstances. 

I can think of several scriptural references that counter this and a voice in my head screaming, "Untrue! Untrue!" 

I want to tackle this at least a little bit. Let me first say I am not a religious scholar. I have absolutely no authority in the matters of official church policy or teachings. This is solely my opinion and personal belief. 

The Book of Mormon, Figurative?

To believe all the people of South America and the North American are each a literal decedent of Lehi or Ishmael or an original inhabitant of Zarahemla or even the people of Jared, would probably be wrong. I suspect that since the great flood there have been many migrations to this continent. When the Jaredites arrived, most likely there was a people already occupying the land. They of course multiplied and had divisions and many nations arise. The record of the Jaredites is so abridged no one could know if other people were in the land. It would also be a mistake to believe that every last person was killed off during that last war, written about in their record, in both North and South America, only to be repopulated by Lehi and his people. 

A careful reading of The Book of Mormon gives evidences of other people and cities already in the promised land when Lehi arrived. The war chapters show The Book of Mormon takes place in a relatively small area, making it possible for it hold a literal record of the Nephites.  

A Figurative God?

Now I whole heartedly believe that God speaks to us individually. He taylors his voice for each of us. Giving counsel in a way that we will most recognize it. He also will speak to each civilization in the way of their understanding. Thus making the restored gospel somewhat unique from all other time periods. All had priesthood ordinances and temples (including sealings and baptism). The differences are largely cultural. The Lord communicated with the prophets of old the same as he does now. Not necessarily face to face, in person, requiring us to interpret his voice. This being the reason there are so many divisions of religion, so many broken lines of authority and so many different beliefs between members of the same church. 

With that in mind, to see all this and believe that it is all figurative is understandable. After all, mankind is left to discover the voice of God on their own and to learn to become obedient to it without angelic visitation teaching them how. At least not until after the trial of your faith according to scripture. However, if it's all figurative how can you have a trial of faith? It what way can you be tested? How can you be certain? Where does the figurativity end? Is God a figurative construct to convince people to just get along? If so, then why bother with religion at all? Be happy with your agnosticism.  

This much I know, God is real. He teaches his children through His Holy Spirit. Learning what His voice sounds like and following its precepts is the first of our many tests, to prove whether we will choose Him or the evil one. Once on the path, holding fast to the word of God, as given by the Spirit and verified through the voice of his prophets, will lead to the next trial and so on and so forth until at that day your faith has been sufficiently tried that nothing will be withheld from your sight. Everything is given by degrees, built upon a foundation little by little.  No one has ever had a last life changing experience based solely on the idea of God. It took commitment, a conscious effort to listen to and obey the word of God.

Nathan

After a Long Silence…

It has been an incredibly long time since I last wrote here. It is my hope that I continue coming back here to post frequently. I decided that I needed this outlet to help keep things in perspective. 

The following is based on something I read in Following the Light of Christ into His Presence by John Pontius. This book has forever changed the way I perceive the Holy Ghost and what it means to become perfect "even as my Father in heaven is perfect." I find that my understanding of the gospel of Jesus Christ is broadened and moved deeper into my soul. A good number of you may look at this and say, "Duh!" That's ok because after I discovered it that's exactly what I said to myself. 

What is the Holy Ghost? How does he speak to us? Growing up I seemed to grasp the answers almost automatically, without really understanding what they were. 

There are three distinct voices in my head. Myself, always questioning and doubting; the Holy Spirit, always pointing out the good, the true and pushing for improvements in me; and the tempters, real quick to convince me that what was suggested by the Spirit isn't practical or is a waist of time and effort.

While I was younger I naturally gravitated to the Holy Spirit's voice. That is not to say I recognized it as his voice or followed it every time, as I am sure my parents can attest. As I got older I thought I knew what the Spirit was and how he communicated with me. Then while serving a mission my first companion, the one who was training me, played a joke that made me question and even doubt that feeling. At that time, and most of my adult life, I believed the spirit was only a feeling, a burning in the bosom and nothing more. If I felt that burning then that was the spirit. That is what I followed for confirmation that the church was true. For confirmation that I should serve a mission.

It never occurred to me that anything else was associated with the Spirit.

So while yes there are feelings that the Spirit brings, there are also thoughts that pop into the mind, that are good. Sudden realizations of understanding. Recognizing truth when you hear or see it.

Reading the scriptures with this new insight into the Spirit, has opened my mind with a new understanding. When Nephi says he was having a conversation with the Spirit of the Lord, it may have been exactly like mine. I, the student, asks the Teacher, the Spirit, a question. To which, the Spirit gives answer. I have resolved many concerns in this way, while not recognizing the source.

The counsel from the church is to compare what the Spirit tells you with what the prophets have said, i.e. Scriptures and living prophets, so you know whether it is of God or not. The tempters have gotten very good at imitating the Holy Ghost and can and do lead people astray. I can only suppose, that by following this model, I will eventually find the subtle differences between the voices and see the counterfeit for what it is. That over time, with great practice, the good will be easily heard and followed.

Nathan

Changes...

First, we had a wonderful summer vacation. We drove the entire 2,500 miles to Pennsylvania in about 36 hours. (Those who follow the Wife on FB were amazed at how quickly we travelled.) While there, in PA, we visited Hershey Park, Dorney Park and spent lots of time with family. I rediscovered iMovie and made some short and sweet videos of our adventure. Then 14 days later we made the 36 hour drive home.  This time was much harder because we left much later in the day and 2 hours away from home and both drivers were exhausted and really just wanted to wait till morning. But the thought of our beds waiting for us, practically calling us pushed us onward the last stretch.

Once home we were greeted a very messy and filthy house courtesy of our wonderful dogs, Sadie and Rusty. While we were gone the both peed and pooped on the floor regularly. (Those who were left in charge of things had a really hard time keeping up with the messes and deserve so much more than we gave them for their efforts.) The smell and the gross floors woke me up and there was no way I was sleeping with what the dogs had left for us, so I promptly mopped it up. (Once wasn't enough, it took three times before it was clean.) I did however find my bed after the first pass and then resumed the clean up in the morning.

I sold the Blueberry. I finally got a company truck the pest control company. This meant I could sell the car, pay off the last of my debt and make plans to quit my second job at the convenience store. Way too exciting I know! So the date I have picked is the last weekend of August (Assuming I really don't need the money)

T had girls camp with the other young women at our church. They went north to cooler temperatures. T was NOT excited at all! She thinks I was being mean by forcing her to go. While so says she didn't have fun and that she never wants to go again, ever picture I have seen of her looks like she is at least pretending to enjoy herself.

L has now lost his Two Front Teeth. Maybe we should get him to sing the song and see what it sounds like. Funny thing, neither the Wife nor I even noticed he lost the second tooth until it was gone and lost somewhere.

And Then There Were 7

The day started out as any day usually does. The sun rose in the east (Just as it always does) The Wife, me and kiddos got up and got ready for the day. I dropped off the older 3 kids at schools and continued to work. What is my job? That's not important. Let's just say I have a license to kill. (Well, kill little creepy crawlies) 

The Wife, had a busy day planned. She had to watch a house full of screaming children. That's what she does, day in and day out. Screaming children. It's ruff, but someone has to take on that job. She had find time for an extra doctor appointment this week. The one just the other day didn't show any progress in her development and the doctor was heading out of town on Sunday. He wanted to try to speed things along so she would be sure to deliver before he had to leave.

My day was stacked full of appointments. More than the usual. I was a little more than half way done, about 2:00, when I get a call from The Wife. 

She tells me, "While the doctor was performing the procedure he nicked something and there was a rush of water but I should have a few hours before any serious labor pains will start."

"Did your water break?" I asked. 

"I don't think so, they gave me some pads to absorb the water and told me that I would be leaking for a little while and told me I could pick up the kids from school and take them home."

"Oh," I sighed some relief. Ok, so he made a small hole and the water is slowly leaking out? That idea sound ok with me and we ended our call. 

**2:30**

I get a text message, "It's starting to get intense" I called The Wife back. 

"How far apart are your contractions?"

A long pause, "Between 3 and 5 minutes." (She is still driving)

"I think you should go to the hospital now."

"I don't have my bag and the kids are still at the school."

"Where are you?"

"I'm almost to the school."

My mind was reeling trying to figure out what to do. "I think you should just get the kids and go straight to the hospital."

"I can't. I need my bag and I can't take the kids with me to the hospital."

"Ok, well you can drop the kids off at my parents house, it's just down the street from the hospital."

"But my bag, and the sitter. I can't leave the sitter there."

"Just call the sitter and tell her what's going on, I am sure she would be willing to stay. And I will get your bag latter and bring it to you."

"No, I think I can make it. The contractions are about 7 minutes apart now."

Seeing that I married super woman and there was no chance of changing her mind, I got off the phone and made arrangements to leave my day early. The drive home was about an hour. I figured if I could make it home at the same time she did or right after we could take that nice 40 minute drive to the hospital and be ok.

Once The Wife got home she realized just how bad things were. She got her bag and asked the sitter to stay until all the screaming children were gone. (It's her day job, remember?) Then she got back in the car and started to drive to the 40 minutes back to the hospital. 

About 20 minutes left in my trip home, I got a call from The Wife and we met on the road then I drove us right to the hospital. By the time we got there it was 5:00. Two hours since the water had been accidentally broken. The contractions so close together it's hard to say they were even separate contractions. I pulled up to the front doors and helped The Wife get to registration. (We had to skip a lot of the repetitive questions) the admitted her and raced to get everything ready for a baby. The anesthesiologist was there lickety-split and putting in an epidural while the nurse continued asking the never ending list of questions. 

The doctor made an appearance and was reminded that our last labor was only three hours and that this one was going to be really fast. He excused himself to make a phone call. 

**6:30**

The Wife was beginning to feel pressure, a sure sign that the baby was growing impatient and wanted to come out, NOW!

The doctor who left to make a phone call was, missing. He was still a mile away? 

The doctor walked and wanted to change his clothes but he was out of time. He emptied his pockets and put on his birthing outfit over his existing clothing. 

**6:41**

After just a few hard pushes the baby was crowning. 

**6:42**

Even before S was out she was already crying letting us all know she was there. 

And then there were 7 of us. 

If you are looking for a name or a picture you won't find them here. You will have to ask me nicely. And anyone who knows is forbidden from putting names in the comment section

It's Controversial but My Thinking is Sound…

The recent news of Arizona's legislature approval of Senate Bill 1062 has sparked controversy. Particularly with the gay and lesbian group. It's being reported that this "new" law would allow businesses to refuse service to gays and lesbians. That sounds really bad! It's got people protesting and talking about boycotting if the governor signs it.

George Takei (I loved his performances in Star Trek and Heros) wrote an Open Letter to the state of Arizona, telling us how much he loves coming here with his partner. He says that if this bill is signed into law they will have to find somewhere else to go. The Arizona Republic has spent at least two issues with the bill on the front page. FOX News both local and national has covered the story.

So with all this coverage of course my interest is peeked. So, naturally I did what any thinking person would do, I read the bill.  Immediately, I noticed this is a revision of a law already on the books (Free Exercise of Religion 41-1403). The only changes were primarily definitions of words and phrases. Instead of focussing solely on religious institutions the law would now have broader reach. It would be applicable to every Tom, Dick and Harry. Every business or organization would be able to lay claim to the same religious rights. So what's all the commotion?

Simple. While it's already "legal" to refuse service to anyone for whatever reason, nothing is preventing the offended people from suing you and forcing you to pay or do something that you don't want to do. Think about it this way. Do you really think you will get the best possible service from someone who doesn't want to be there? The revisions seem to give you a protection if your reason for not accepting a client or other service is for a deep religious belief.

Its funny that this is the cause of political chaos. The current law says nothing specific about gays and lesbians and neither do the revisions. I think someone is looking for freedom from religion. Perhaps a little worried someone won't have to pay for being a bigot. Wouldn't you rather know who is a bigot and who isn't?

I can illustrate it this way. A catering company has a religious belief that serving alcohol is a sin. So they choose not to offer it. They are a highly sought after company because they have the best food. One day a couple comes in and throws a fit that they won't serve their party hard drinks so they sue. The revisions, if I understand them correctly, would protect the caterers from being force to serve the beverages because of a deep religious belief.

Here are the principles I am using. Do to others what you want done to you. Don't force someone to do something they don't want to do. (I think we fought a war over something similar)

Personally, I think it's a folly to cloak this in religion. This should be the law regardless of personal religious belief. Anyone should be able to refuse service to anyone without worry of being sued. If some arrogant bigot wants to refuse service to blacks, Jews, gays or anyone else, that's what a picket line is for. That's why we have freedom of speech. The spiritually mislead and foolish bigots will get their reward when the strikes and bad reputation spreads.

Contact Jan Brewer and tell her what you think.

Family Updates & Rushing Waters

D is having her birthday party today! She invited just a few of her friends. About half of them have said they will come. Typically because of where we live (the middle of nowhere) people don't feel like driving to our house and we end up with half of those who RSVPed not show up. I hope that now that she has "close" friends things will be different.

T is going to be in the chorus line for her school play this month. It's called Dig It. No idea what it's about. She doesn't seem excited at all. Maybe she is just not a performer.

Constant Ring & Rushing of Water

That is what I have been hearing off and on for the past few years or so. Gradually getting worse and now affecting both ears. I can't hear anything clearly. So it's clearly tinnitus. But what's causing it? Is it Ménière's disease? That seems to fit only I don't have a balance problem. The slight diminishment in my hearing though isn't associated with tinnitus. The last possibility is it's none of the above.

I like to listen to music and talk through in ear earbuds. It's never very loud and I can hear what's going on around me just fine.

According to the small amount of research I did (WebMD app on my phone) things that make the symptoms of both tinnitus and Ménière's is caffeine, high sodium diet, earwax (using qtips may only pack the wax making it worse) and in ear earbuds. All things I am guilty of.

So let's start simple, easiest to change, get rid of the earbuds and see of there is improvement.

Almost a week later without the earbuds and using earphones (fits on the outside of the ear) no ringing at all! In fact, it's been hard to fall asleep it's been so quiet!

I wonder, is it because earbuds don't use the entire ear to hear (sound being put directly in the canal), is that where the problem is? One thing for sure, I will not go back to earbuds, ever.

Family update…

Here are somethings that are going on in my family.

This coming Wednesday we are going to tour the Gilbert temple. Of course any one who would like to be our plus one or fifteen are welcome to join us. We were told that even if you don't have a ticket or a reservation you will still be allowed to tour with us if you would like. So let us know. We are going Wednesday the 29th at 7:45pm.

T is going to be part of the cultural celebration. It's going to be an amazing experience for her. She however is now a teenager and doesn't see it that way. It's just one more thing she has to do. I have hope that she will one day look back at her life and see it for what it was a once in a lifetime moment that is uniquely hers. Something I never got to do and her sisters won't likely ever be apart of. Her best friend is very jealous because she isn't old enough to join in the celebration.

I am a little upset because girls camp is likely being schedule the same time we will be away on vacation. That would mean T won't be able to go.

At work, the conscience store, I made a HUGE accounting error that may end up costing me my job. But it's been a week of deliberations and no decision has been made yet. So I continue in limbo for a while. When something is decided I will write a tell all of the whole thing for your enjoyment or torture however you choose to view it.

50° Clear
20 S Main St, Florence, AZ, United States

Nathan

Introspection…

There are some who will read what I write here and say, "Is this a midlife crisis? Or, is he depressed?" The answer to both of those is no. The things I tend to write are about me, mostly. It's me examining my life and trying to make sense of it all. I ask myself questions and look for ways to improve my life.

The thing is, when I look at the big picture I know where I want to end up. I want immortality and eternal life. It's easy to get lost in the busyness of life, so I take time for introspection (seeing where I am spiritually and honestly asking myself where I can do better).

Does this mean that I always act the way I should? No, in fact many things I should to do don't get accomplished. I have learned not to expect perfection from myself in regards to keeping the commandments of God. I basically have had to give myself permission to screw things up. Believe it or not, that was a big step for me. While yes it is important that I strive for perfect obedience where God has commanded, it helps me to know that it's not possible for me at this time to give that. It was also not expected. It was expected that I would definitely disobey and willfully do or not do what I am supposed to do. That's what the atonement of Jesus Christ was for. Who am I to throw His willing gift back into His face. To say, "Thank you, but I got this. I can live perfectly."

It's like the fall of Adam and Eve. They being innocent like a child, didn't require a lie from Lucifer to eat the fruit. They didn't know right from wrong until after they had partaken of the fruit. I can see my life modeled on their experience. I was born innocent incapable of sin. It is not until I began to understand the difference between good and evil that sin was possible. That is when I "partook" of the fruit. Causing me to fall and then be in need of redemption.

So there it is, I was meant to fall so I could be picked up and redeemed through the atonement and receive eternal life (life in the presence of God) by being obedient to His commandments.

52° Clear
20 S Main St, Florence, AZ, United States

Nathan

Complacency…

The casual observer of my life sees me as they see anyone else. I am fairly unremarkable in that regard. They see my 8 or 9 day work week and are probably not impressed. Everyone who works usually works long hours and odd schedules. My schedule is probably harder for my family than it is for me. I have a compartment for each of my 3 lives. They don't usually collide (On the rare occasion they do, it spices things up a bit). Is it possible too be so busy that you become complacent with your life?

For a long time I believed the destination to reach was a state of complacency. That would be where I would find true happiness. To want for nothing and need nothing. While it's not a terrible place to be, once I become complacent, I noticed it's easier to start slipping back down those old paths I believed to be so far behind me it would be impossible to ever cross them again.

I think this idea is one of those that encompasses every aspect of life. If I am not progressing I'm regressing. Becoming complacent with life doesn't necessarily mean I stop doing what I have been doing. I simply became used to that level of activity, life or position. The challenge of it all has left. What do I do in that situation?

A lesson from evolution (wait what?). That's right evolution! Evolution is a story of individual progression. We adapt to changes in our environment but not until we are pushed and challenged, forced to accept the change or face destruction. So to answer my earlier question, what do I do when my current level isn't enough to keep me engaged and continually advancing? I can wait for circumstances to change for me. Or I can accept responsibility and force change on myself.

That is where I am. Swimming comfortable in the current. Going seemingly the same pace as I always have but making no progress in my development. It is as if the current has increased and I need to add extra strength to continue my journey up stream. I am not able to ease up in my strokes and remain where I am. It is push forward harder or be pushed backward to face those long forgotten paths again.

So how do I combat complacency?

Realize that I am not nor ever will be Mister Perfect. There is always room to improve. Any thoughts to the contrary are illusions of grandeur. Did the current speed up or did I slow down because I was complacent with where I was?

So lesson learned, "Never give up! Never surrender!"

At church we began studying the teachings of Joseph Fielding Smith. He used a phrase that I have heard my entire life but never really understood it's complete connotations, "What would Jesus do?" The lesson still didn't hit home for me until my mother wrote about it in her weekly email. I quote a snippet here:

> "My friend…shared with me how she asks herself "What would Jesus do?"…I suddenly remembered a decision I'd made the day before. I kept asking myself what was right to do in that situation, and I think I listened to the wrong voice in my response to the situation. I realized with sudden clarity that if I had asked myself what Jesus would do, I would have made the other choice. I knew instantly that Jesus would do the kind thing. When I ask "what is right," I open up the door to a lot of worldly philosophies as well as the Lord's way. For example, I might think that this is a moment when I should assert myself, stand up for the right by standing up for myself, when in reality it is a moment when I should just be looking to show love. In another instance, I might think that I should put limitations on others in an effort to control them when perhaps the Lord's way is to leave the choice with them. Often, the world's way involves a form of pride, but usually the Lord's way involves a form of humility."


Another lesson learned. WWJD is not just a catchy slogan. It needs to take a better place in my life.

Christmas Tidings…

First off, the wife let it be known it's been a while since I last posted to the blog. So that must mean that I don't talk to her and she wants to know what's going on.

So here is the skinny…

We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving. I managed to get both Thursday and Friday off work. Every year, for that last 13 years, we complain about how messy the snow is on our Christmas tree. This year we made a preemptive strike and got a new tree. It's much easier to set up as it only has 3 pieces.

Let's see…

Here is a complaint, it wouldn't be a proper post without one. A little while ago our HOA had an election where new board members were put into office. Since then, letters have been sent out, ticking off the neighborhood. We were the recipients of a few. Each and every letter would tell us to redo our landscape to the original standard. So I would go out and rake the gravel make the yard look just as it did when we moved in 9 years ago. But it wasn't enough. The letters starts coming weekly, all saying the same thing with one change. They started levying fees, $50 each time. Now you can imagine our confusion. We have lived in our house for 9 years and never changed our landscape. The granite rock looks as nice as anyone's. Now we were being fined for noncompliance. This of course got our attention in a big way. I discovered our HOA has a website. I started emailing the manager of our community and investigating the board. It turns out the community manager doesn't live in our neighborhood. None of the listed contact people do. Here is what happens. We elect a board and they contract out the management of our community to an outside property management company. If you are saying WTH? Then you are right were I am. Why have a board if they outsource all the actual work? The only info I have on the board members is their name and title. Strangely, they hide behin5976 E Flowing Spring, Florence 85132d the faceless property management company. One thing is certain, none of the current board members will get my vote and I may start campaigning against them. I am not going to run, I will just tell people not to vote for any of them. I am thinking of writing an open letter and distributing it to all the houses in the HOA.

So, it ends this way, for now. Trying to live the principle of the closer it is to me the better it is me and for everyone around me, I went as close to family as possible to get the "required" landscaping done. Was it the cheapest? Probably not. But now $800 dollars later it's finished and someone from my church will have a very nice Christmas.

Christmas message…

This year I am trying to view Christmas with eyes of wonderment. Looking for the small miracles and trying to see the "magic" all around me. The thought came to me that we really don't have any meaningful traditions beyond the ones that focus on presents. (Not that those are meaningful). I am looking for those traditions that put Christ in Christmas. I noticed that we were celebrating Xmas. So we are going to try some new things this year. Some are just for fun. We started with an Elf on the Shelf to get the magic started. It's been fun finding our elf in new places everyday. I am thinking of putting on a small play where we act out Christmas carols like do you hear what I hear. Going to the temple to see the Christmas lights and watching some of the videos centered around Christ. I would say volunteer to help those who are needy but this time of year they get a lot more help than they need, but now that I think of it, maybe a family service project. Christmas is about honoring the life of Jesus Christ. Not just His birth but His teachings , death and resurrection.

I hope you all have a merry Christmas!

46° Clear
20 S Main St, Florence, AZ, United States

Nathan

Principles...

There is an old saying, well it might be a practice, if you are feeling down, depressed, just look for someone who is worse off than you, then you will see that it could be worse and you will feel better about yourself. There is truth to that. Not a lot of truth, but nonetheless truth. It tends to help our emotional state just to acknowledge that. However, I believe this to only be apart of what helps us to feel better. The rest is this, after finding that person who is worse off than ourselves, find out exactly what is wrong and help them to overcome it. It is through doing good for others and focussing on their needs that we can be filled with joy and find comfort in our own struggles. 

I have noticed that with my own family. When my kids are struggling and I am just too tired to deal with it, when I take the time to help them through it my own weariness doesn't seem to be that big a deal. Likewise, when I look at my church family and the number of people who are struggling to find work, I ask myself what can I do? The answer is simple, but it requires the efforts of everyone. The solution centers on another principle I am learning, the closer it is to me, the better it is for me. That may sound selfish because it puts the focus on me, but in truth it is the only way to make any kind of lasting change. Since my church is an extension of my family, whatever I can do to better them helps everyone. In our congregation we have nearly every line of work. Many own their own companies. So the question is, if I need a product or service why look out side of my family? Looking outside takes those much needed blessings away from those who are most important in my life. 

Forgive me if I am coming to this conclusion late. Better late than never. 

History Helps

I was helping my oldest daughter with her history homework. She doesn't see why it's important to learn about dead people. I explained about learning from the mistakes and successes of others so that we won't have to have the same struggles that they had. I tried to liken the history lessons in her book about the rise and fall of the Roman Empire to our own country, but I was way above her head and may have confused her more. 

As the night went on my son wanted to make brownies. We followed the directions to the letter. The batter seemed really thick to me and so I said to the kids who were around, "should we add more water?" They told me that's what mom did. Remembering the cake like texture those brownies had I said, "then nope we leave it the way it is." While we were enjoying the fruit of our labour, I used that to further illustrate my point of learning from the experience of others. I told my oldest, "history is important because without it I would have made the same mistake that mom did and our brownies would have tasted like cake." I got an eye roll at that one. 

Dumbing it Down

I am sick of the school making the work easier for my kids, while at the same time making it more difficult in other areas. We chose the school because it would be challenging. The school decided it was too hard and really slowed it down. They pulled my oldest out during a different subject to "help" her with one she is struggling with. I wrote a nasty note telling them to challenge my kids and not pull them out during subjects they aren't getting help in. 

It wasn't that long ago when 15 year olds were moving out on their own and supporting themselves. When did it become the norm to treat kids like invalids?

Halloween fun!

We, in fact, did celebrate the great tradition of all hallows eve, or Halloween. A tradition that goes back along time. Where it originated, I don't have a clue. All I know is it can be a lot of fun. Growing up, my mother would make costumes for us. She would start them at least three months before, spending hours sewing and crafting them. Then we would enjoy them for one night and whenever we had an incling to drees up. My kids are not as fortunate. They have to settle for creating their own costumes or buying one from the store. 

Last year we had a lot of trick or treaters, but not many people handing out candy. This year we had a few more handing out the sweet stuff and very few asking for it. We were tempted to drive to another neighborhood to get our candy begging fix in this year, but that seemed like too much work. I believe everyone should know the truth, I am really lazy. 

We started off by ourselves and gained a neighbor into our group right after we got to the first house. This of course gave me the brilliant insight of getting together with others and going in a big group, we will have to try this next year. That is if there is any trick or treating next year. It seems as if that part of our heritage is going away. Every year participation gets less and less, both on the part of the givers and takers. This is another sign of the apocalypse. It just shows that we typically don't know our neighbors or communities. As we drift further apart, we will stop doing these kind of things. 

On to costumes!

T made up her own costume, it changed depending on the day. First she was a princess fairy. Then amid in a wig and dress and mask. Finally, for trunk or treat, she was herself. She is at that age where she wants to be a kid and everyone tells her she has to grow up and do things older kids do. All she wants is to go back in time and stay 5 forever. I like how reluctant she is about growing up, I hope it means she will learn to enjoy life as close to childlike as possible. No sense in rushing things. 

D went as the queen of hearts. She has no idea who that is, all she knows is it meant wearing hearts. It would have been funny to hear her saying, "Off with their head!" To her it was an excuse to wear a pretty dress and get candy. 

K was a cat. That is if you can call her that. She didn't wear her ears so she really looked like a little girl wearing a cat dress and the wig that was passed around from T. 

L wanted to be Spider-Man. We could not get him to wear his mask or gloves because, "It's hurting me." We tried a dearth mal costume we have In our closet and got the same response. So he went as Peter Parker in the process of changing. For trunk or treat, he fell into some mud and wanted out of his costume this meant he went around as himself. 

Me, I dressed as Obama. Not the dolled up version you see on TV. I went as his true self, Death. So if your not following, I was Death with an Obama mask. For those who like his policies and think I am insulting him and you take offense, you are right it was meant as in insult. Next year I am thinking of dressing like Jon McCain, does anyone have a donkey costume?

And the Wife dressed as an Arizona Cardinals fan. It's a stretch, but I think she pulls it off quite nicely. 

The Great Pumpkin Hunt!

The great tradition is here! That's right it's the Monday before Halloween.

 

For those not familiar with the Great Pumpkin I will tell you the story of The First Great Pumpkin Hunt.

 

The little boy with the blue blanket really did have it right. There really is a great pumpkin. And he really does rise out of the pumpkin patch. And He really does bring all the good little boys and girls presents. Only he doesn't do it out of the kindness of his heart, like a leprechaun, you have to catch him! Once you catch him, you have to give him a face.

 

 This is a story of four little kids who caught the great pumpkin. 

 

The oldest, soon to be a teenager. Everyone around her wanted her to grow up and forget about being a kid. All she wanted was to stay a little girl forever. She also desperately wanted to be an only child.

 

 

 

 

The next one was sometimes forgotten and sometimes stuck in the middle. She was stuck doing her own thing, while watching and wanting to be a part of the action, just a little too scared to say anything.

 

The third was, believe it or not, another little girl. At just eight years old she was ready for adventure, just as long as she didn't get dirty or wet or hurt. She looked to her older two sisters to figure out just how to do things. That's how she learned to be afraid of spiders and learned to like making cookies.

 

Our fourth little adventurer was really quite different from the others. For starters, he was a boy, and you would not believe just how much he showed it. By the time he was 5 he had been on many adventures. Like Jack and Jill, he too climbed a hill and came tumbling down, broke his crown, then got up and did it all over again. Never minding that he was filthy head to toe or that was covered in water and forgetting he was hurt.

 

Our brave group of hunters, went where no one had ever dared to venture in costume! Searching high and low, over and under, this way and that way for that elusive pumpkin. Alas, it was too dark to see every pumpkin and too windy to look in every nook and cranny. So they found the largest pumpkin around and the littlest pumpkin ever seen and took them home. 

Once home, that great pumpkin was in need of a face! "Let the carving begin!"

Now with a look all his own, The Great Pumpkin was brought to life, granting one great wish. And what, pray tell, did our warriors ask? Why for candy of course!