There are some who will read what I write here and say, "Is this a midlife crisis? Or, is he depressed?" The answer to both of those is no. The things I tend to write are about me, mostly. It's me examining my life and trying to make sense of it all. I ask myself questions and look for ways to improve my life.
The thing is, when I look at the big picture I know where I want to end up. I want immortality and eternal life. It's easy to get lost in the busyness of life, so I take time for introspection (seeing where I am spiritually and honestly asking myself where I can do better).
Does this mean that I always act the way I should? No, in fact many things I should to do don't get accomplished. I have learned not to expect perfection from myself in regards to keeping the commandments of God. I basically have had to give myself permission to screw things up. Believe it or not, that was a big step for me. While yes it is important that I strive for perfect obedience where God has commanded, it helps me to know that it's not possible for me at this time to give that. It was also not expected. It was expected that I would definitely disobey and willfully do or not do what I am supposed to do. That's what the atonement of Jesus Christ was for. Who am I to throw His willing gift back into His face. To say, "Thank you, but I got this. I can live perfectly."
It's like the fall of Adam and Eve. They being innocent like a child, didn't require a lie from Lucifer to eat the fruit. They didn't know right from wrong until after they had partaken of the fruit. I can see my life modeled on their experience. I was born innocent incapable of sin. It is not until I began to understand the difference between good and evil that sin was possible. That is when I "partook" of the fruit. Causing me to fall and then be in need of redemption.
So there it is, I was meant to fall so I could be picked up and redeemed through the atonement and receive eternal life (life in the presence of God) by being obedient to His commandments.
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20 S Main St, Florence, AZ, United States
Nathan
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